A lot is said about the 90 day dating rule. It is a rule that women or ladies use when they get into a new relationship. To some, the 90 day rule is unnecessary. However, to understand why some women still use it, we need to know the benefits of the 90 day dating rule.
To start, it would be good to first define what the 90 day rule is in terms of dating.
What is the 90 Day Dating Rule?
The 90 day dating rule is the idea that a lady shall withhold for 90 days when she starts dating a new man.
It is a system that women have developed to test the seriousness of a man. A lady does this to find out how a man is committed to the relationship.
The idea is that by withholding sex, she will be in a position to get the right man. This would be the man who is able to wait for 90 days before getting intimate with her.
Top 4 Benefits of the 90 Day Rule
Here are the top benefits of the 90 day dating rule;
- Helps you feel comfortable to get intimate.
- You gain power in the relationship.
- Feel more in control.
- Protect your independence.
Let us now discuss the top benefits of the 90 day dating rule further.
Helps You Feel Comfortable to Get Intimate
Many women feel uncomfortable having sex with someone they don’t feel close to or barely know.
They may experience a lot of anxiety over it. They often find the experience unpleasant because they’re doing it for a reason other than wanting to do it.
They might be caving to his pressure, current cultural attitudes, or other influences.
But if they spend more time together before sex, she already feels close to him before sex happens.
You Gain Power in the Relationship
If you aren’t ready to have sex yet, saying no to it is a way of giving yourself the power in the relationship.
However, if you use the rule to manipulate your data, it’s an unhealthy kind of power.
While it’s good to be strong for yourself, you can set the stage for a very negative relationship if you withhold sex as a way to control him.
Feel More in Control
One goal of the rule is to feel that you’re more in control of your own body and your own decisions.
This sets you up to build a relationship between two strong people who respect each other’s boundaries.
The relationship is more balanced for both of you.
Protect Your Independence
One thing you need to do in any relationship is to maintain your independence.
It’s easy to become dependent in a relationship. However, this appears to be changing.
In a survey of older women on dating and sex, the researchers found that these 55-81-year-old women were very protective of their independence if they wanted a new romantic or sexual relationship.
By standing by your own decision, you hold on to your individuality.
What You Can Learn About Your Date during 90 Days
This rule can end in the two of you developing a close and long-lasting relationship.
The 90 day rule can lead to you learning things about your date that convince you the relationship isn’t right for you.
It may also result in him giving up and leaving the relationship. Here are some things you can learn about him.
Is He Willing to Invest Time in the Relationship?
The rule is based on time. Time is a valuable commodity.
If a man is willing to put in the time to develop the relationship before having sex, it says something about him and his view of the relationship.
It may show that he is patient, but it also reveals his view that the relationship is worth waiting for.
Researchers in a study on game theory and dating concluded that how long the man’s dating efforts lasted showed how strong his courtship signal was.
The authors of the study suggested that these were the men who were willing to care for their young when the sex led to having a child.
What Does He Do If He Doesn’t Get What He Wants?
One very important thing you will find out if you wait for sex to happen is if he isn’t willing to wait.
That is, you find out how he responds to the word “no.”
This can tell you how he will be when you refuse other requests as well.
If he has an angry outburst or tries to manipulate you into having sex, you know he has some unhealthy habits.
And if he reacts by taking what he wants despite your protests, you know that he is prone to violence.
But if he respects your wishes and remains kind to you, then you will know that he has a healthy attitude towards sex.
What Is He Really Like?
By waiting for sex, you might have more opportunities to find out other things about him. What are his interests? What are his preferences?
What kinds of people does he enjoy hanging out with after work?
Since the focus isn’t on when and where to have sex, you can emphasize knowing him more intimately in other ways.
Does He Have the Qualities of a Good Relationship Partner?
When you have sex early in the relationship, you might learn a lot about his attitudes and preferences about sex.
However, if you wait, you might be more likely to notice his general characteristics.
You may find out that he’s very kind, loving, and considerate about things other than the sexual relationship.
As you spend more time with him, you might find out that he’s someone who will go out of their way to help you when you need him.
The more you’re with him in non-sexual situations, the more you can learn about who he is as a person.
What This Rule Can Teach You about Yourself
Besides what you learn about him, you can also learn some important things about yourself.
Following this rule can be extremely challenging.
Like most other challenges, it gives you opportunities to learn about your own issues, limitations, and preferences.
Do You Have Attachment Issues?
How your attempt at making the 90-day rule plays out could reveal what kind of attachments you tend to have.
If you end up having unwanted sex, it could mean that you have attachment issues.
In one study, researchers found that women who were anxiously attached were the most likely to engage in unwanted sex.
However, evidently attached women also had sex against their wishes.
While more research needs to be done so far, it appears that attachment issues are an important factor in this equation.
Are You Willing to Settle?
Compromise can help build a better relationship.
On the other hand, if you always settle for less than you want, you will likely end up unsatisfied with the relationship.
Giving up on your decision to follow the 90-day rule may show that you are willing to settle for something that makes you less than happy.
This may be an issue you need to discuss with a therapist to understand better where you want to set your relationship goals and learn how to stick to them.
Is the 90-Day Rule Right for Me?
Having sex is a highly individual decision.
To say that you are going to wait exactly 90 days seems very arbitrary to many people.
It might help you to have a goal. You might learn a lot about yourself and your date.
However, it may also be advantageous for you to make your decision one day at a time.
The most important thing may be to allow yourself enough time to get to know them and build the relationship beyond the sexual aspect.
Whether that takes one month, three months, or longer, waiting may pay off in big benefits of the 90 day dating rule for your relationship.
In conclusion, the 90 day dating rule is something subjective to a person or a situation. However, there are benefits of the 90 day dating rule that you should consider when starting a new relationship
You need to find the motivation behind your decision to apply this rule to your dating life or relationship.
It is possible that using the 90 day dating rule will reveal a lot about yourself and also your man.
In the end, you should use this period not as a punishment to your man, but as an opportunity to get to know each other more.